Festive Cheer...

I feel that this lady's choice of outfit alone has ruined my christmas.



but its ok, because the lady and her song made it.

Merry Christmas folks!

Desole...

What with moving house, finishing uni and christmas i feel The Pankcake Book has somewhat been neglated. And by this i mean ive have been celebrating all these things by drinking.From such things i have learnt much more and so feel some pearls of wisdom will help you, or be amusing. Either way, they cant be a bad thing.

1. Do christmas shopping in June.
2. Say your please's and thankyou's.
3. qualifications mean nothing if your boring.
4. love people.
5. Always stock lemsip

While we both ponder my wise words, here is a tuuuune for your soul. And though ive insisted it before, please give this video your eye.

Hello...

It is now two days till i go home, oooh yes! but sadly i have to write 4000 words of rubbish before i get to go. which is lame. All this work recently has put me in somewhat of a negative mood. Ive been looking at things with more hate than anything else. Here, just so i cant vent, are some things that i hate.

1. When ginger girls die their hair blonde. There was one on the bus today, her head looked like someone had bitten the top off of a cadburys cream egg. Its fairly obvious because you have orange eyebrows.
2. When my boyfriend leaves me sitting on msn. He does this sometimes when he fancies some food or wants to go watch a film. The boys gone for hours, then when he does return i feel all daft for sitting there and waiting for him when i could have been off having all sorts of adventures
3. Cheaper by the dozen. I think this film is a hillary duff shaped poo on steve martins other wise flawless back catalouge. The man is funny, however this film is not and i am unable to sit through even the opening titles.
4. My cough. Its actually starting to worry me now. Im scared it might actually a big deal like some really inconvienent disease or something. Today i went to boots to get some cough medicene finally. apparently there a three different types of cough! Now im worried i brought the wrong one and my cough will never go away.
5. When people tell me what to do. This isnt as bad as it sounds. Im not talking when my tutor wells me to write and essay, thats anoying but i dont mind. I mean when im playing on zelda and im doing really well untill my younger brother sits down next to me and starts telling where to shoot my fucking arrow. Ill shoot it where the fuck i like. Maybe ill shoot it at zavi.
6. Arnold Schwarzeneger. Kindergarten cop. Jingle all the way. Junior. That one where dani divitos his twin. Need i say anymore. Cant beleive they made him a govenor of a space larger than his forehead.
7. Vintage and charity shops. with these its not so much i just hate them, its more of the fact that i cant do it. I have friends who wander out with arms full of stuff that cost them 50p. The best thing ive ever found was a cactus shaped glass. though to be fair, that was pretty cool.
8. When people are late. Now if theres anything i hate, its tardiness. Just think its nice for people to arrive on time. you knew we had to meet at a time, i managed to make it. how come you couldnt. i used to have a friend that turned up two hours late for everything. what was she doing! knitting a jumper! it ruined me.
9. When people dont put and 'S' on the end of pound. " ooh thats a mighty fine dimond encrusted scooter you have there, how much did that set you back" " oh why thank you, cost 150 pound from the shop in town" "im sorry, 150 pound, was it just one massive pound that you paid with, or was it plural". Im from the midlands and this happens alllll the time.
10. This forsaken obsession with twilight. I didnt see the films and i have no desire to. I dont belong to any team for vampires or wolves. All this bloody kristen stewart bashing is a little insane, she didnt exactly do anything besides maybe be quite nice to old Ro-Paz. Im just a bit bored of the whole debarcle

And after all the hate and misery, heres something that i feel will lighten both our moods.

Now i can hopefully finish my essay and go to honky tonk!

Home is where the...

...bus stop is. Today i signed a contract for my house next year at uni so as to avoid living in a cardboard box. Its a lovely little house thats right near the bus stop!! I have to get the bus to uni and currently its a lightyear away from where i live so this quite a big deal. Not to mention its a pretty fucking good house. There will be five of us living there and were gonna have rabbit and i will be called winnips. If you care to know what a winnip is then feel free to look it up.

But i handed over my £350 deposit to farmy looking lady with an alcoholics nose and a french manicure and the deed was done. Im well looking forward to the whole thing. Im going to be able to walk to sainsburys!

Work and present buying seem to be of most importance currently. Boys are ever so heard to buy for, when we were younger i could buy brothers a bionicle and my dad some cadburys or a tie and id be golden. Now i have to shop at topman.

ooh i went out on thursday for a friends birthday to a place called Blue Rooms. It was an awful place. So me and my friend (drunkenly) ran off.

I am so incredibly looking forward to going home its unreal. Its the best.

Tonight i'm going to get some sleep!!!!

He we are young fellows...some soothing for a sore head. Well possibly not soothe as such, just generally entertain.

Its good to know...

that shivalry isn't dead. My boyfriend lent my his shoes because mine were hurting my feet the other night. He wandered the streets of manchester in just his socks. But, afterall, he is still a boy and so complained about his ruined socks for the next two days and used it as leverage in any possible circumstance in which to get his own way.

oof, my cough is so bad. I think i might cough up a lung.

I went out in manchester and got pretty shittless. So shitless in fact i may have met newt from hollyoaks but dont even remember!

Im gonna have some wacky dreams tonight as ive just had a cheese sandwhich. I hope i dream of food.

And here we close with a final number...please give the video your time.

Not just a boring post about going to the hairdressers...

Ok, so today i did go to the hairdressers. But trust me, its worth hearing about. My hairdressers is a wonderful parallel universe full of happy people and free booze. Firstly, the place is called Dappa. Dappa! i dont even know if thats how your suppose to spell it, but who cares, they can do what ever the hell they like cause their called Dappa!

While you sit waiting for your turn you get free drinks. Yes i know that happens in all hairdressers, but you can have beer! and good beer too, perroni and corona, proper fancy beers and shit. I had a cup of tea, it was half 4 and im no maniac.

Also the people who work there are the happiest people ever. Even if there not, they appear incredibly pleased to see you. They get you magazines and lots of cups of tea. The lady said she liked my top, and was very complimentry of my normally complained about hair. Theres an awful lot of it on my head.

And obviously one quite important factor is there actually very good. I always come out with hair cuts that are so much cooler than i am. They do things like "texturizing", which is apparently a really good thing. I was even conviced to let them use clippers. Im now sporting a rather chilly number 4.

They give you sweets when you leave! for free! I got so much more than i hair cut. I got a hair cut, several cups of tea and some haribo. Oh and theres a pretty hot hairdressers with lots of lovely tattoos.

I love going to the hairdressers.

I tried really hard to find a song thats hairdressing related, but sadly i couldnt come up with any. But this is just as good!

This is envelopes with 'party'.

Im poor as a door...

Today has been quite the non-day. Went to look at a house though, shame it was in the a building that looked st annes estate and the landlady was a thick as a plank. We wont be living there lets say. Though there it lots of other houses we are gonna look at. Wonderful.

Off to manchester next week to see Hughie.

I apologise for the lack of anything happening. Im going to create some fantastic events so i can tell you all about them.

In the mean time, untill my next adventure, i have this for you. It will make love to your ears.

Good tidings...

oh my god. Its only fucking christmas. And its the first of december today which officaly means we can say its christmas. Im yet to get an advent callender but im planning on buying four. Im rediculously excited about christmas this year. Theres a whole pile of things im looking forward to. Im not overly bothered about presents cause all i will be recieveing is boxes of celebrations and money, and fingers crossed some mint pjs. Nah, theres so many things about christmas the are so much better than that. And with this i have produced my difinitive list of awsome things about christmas. I love christmas!

The smell

Say what you like about this one but the smell of christmas is undeniable. when i was little, for some reason, my dad would sit me and brothers down with aload of oranges and a bowl of those cloves things. we would stick them in the oranges and they would smell fucking amazing, all orangey and yummy. Im gonna do that this year and fill my brand spanking new house with the smell of christmas. I aslo have a friend whos mum loves glade. She would have ones for the apropriate seasons, and i tell you at christmas time she had the best one. Her house smelled so good.

Christmas TV

In my opinion christmas tv reigns over all other types of tv. Everything has christmas special and if not then they just play fuck loads of awsome christmas films like the railway children and all the home alones. Nothing makes you feel christmasier (im not sure thats a word) than sitting around the TV and watching The Good Life christmas special. It easily blows roasting chesnuts on an open fire out of the water. And seeing as it is now christmas i think its ok for me to show you this.

And come in very close behind the good life is the on slaught of christmas cooking shows. I could happily sit though hours of jamie and delia and nigella going on about their chirstmas themed crumble or whatever it is. Bliss

Switching lights on

It makes the whole nightmare that is christmas shopping a little bit easier when it hits around the time when it starts to get dim and the lights come one. All the pretty twinkly lights instantly sooth the frazzeled, shopped out brain and return you to normality.

Doing secret santa

Between the years of year 9 and 11 me and my friends did secret santa, but on an epic scale. and im gutted we dont do it still. There was about 13 of us and we would each fill a shoe box full of awsome things and presents and we would proper go to town. decorate the boxes and all shit. We would then all gather at my friends lovely smelling house and exchange them, eat chocolate and watch love actually. It was better than christmas day and was wonderful and i miss doing it very much.

Fuck loads of food

Chocolate, cream, brandy butter, mince pies, smoke salmon, sage and onion stuffing, turkey, roast parsnips, roast potatoes, pigs in blankets, yorkshire puddings, brussel sprouts, roast chesnuts, christmas pudding, crackers, cheese, turkey sandwhiches, chocolate santas, yule log, silly party food, trifle, bread sauce, full breakfast, oranges, sausage roles,clementines, porridge, jam, marmalade, crackling, cininmon, gravy, crackling, rasins, almonds, turkish delight, chocolate covered nuts. please, what have i missed.

Going to other peoples houses

At some point this christmas i will most likely be going to my boyfriends house for a big family meal, cousins grandparents the whole shebang. everyone squishes into a long table and theres loads of candels and food and everyone gets drunk and falls asleep in front of the tele. And coming from a world were christmas is an arkward, uncomfortable time, its a beautiful change to have people to talk to!

The cold

Christmas in australia must be laaaame. The point is that its cold and that you sit inside with a fire. Gawwwd.

Im awfully sorry about rambling on about wonderful christmas things but i just fucking love christmas.

And in honour of it being 25 days till the big day i have a lovely song for you.

(p.s im sorry, i know ive posted this song before. but its just perfect. This was filmed in manchester outside in the carpark of moho, my boyfriends heads in there somewhere)

The wonderful weekend that was...

Im aware that i havent been here in a while. Its not my fault ive had a hungry boyfriend to entertain and feed for the past four days. Now im not overly keen on using this blog as a diary to document all the mundane things ive done with my day, but ive had a pretty good weekend and feel that certain snipets should get an airing. But dont worry, ill be brief.

On thursday there was the slightly interesting event that was nicholas cage turning on our christmas lights. There was too many people and i was so far a way that he was just a grey smudge. He did a bit of speech, then got on his billion pound helicopter back to richville. But regardless of this blip on my day i still managed to buy myself these bad ass mother fuckers.

And i gave the badboys an airing when we all went out for a good old knees up at Moles. Moles is a club in Bath thats all underground and is overtly purple. Its pretty good though cause the musics good and its a double for two quid. Cant really ask for more. I woke up the next day with an epic hangover and the only memory being these snaps.

I spent the following day walking around the so called "best german market in britain". It wasnt. It was raining and everything was over priced and completely useless. This was however balanced out by a cheeky hangover day mcdonalds (im not proud) and me finding the my one and only perfect dress ever. It cost me 15 pounds from H&M and i call it my orbit dress. I will, one day, provide photos of its amazingnness.

Now the most lovely moment of my weekend, admist the dinner cooked for me (shocking) and all those sickening precious moments that come with long distant relationships, was getting my photos back!! I love the whole process of a disposable camera. The fact that you dont get to see photos untill there developed and so you dont what crackers your gonna get. And its ok if people looke dreadful in them or there not perfect. Thats the beauty of them. And best of all you have actual photos in your hand that you can stick on things like doors and walls and in photo albums.

Its a shame the whole affair had to end really. I desperately dont want monday to get here. But here is a little ditty (yes my friend, thats ditty) to amuse your ears on this rainy sunday evening.

Insomniac...

I cant sleep. I havent been able to sleep for the past two weeks. Its not so much that i cant sleep but it takes me till four in the morning to do so, leaving me grumpy when i eventually do wake up the next morning. I lie in bed for hours and hours desperately hoping to finally drift off to sleep, but nothing. I remain wide awake and active as ive cold water chucked over my head. Its not a nice feeling. I myself am partly to blame, i have a lot of free days on my course and so spend much of my tame just generally wandering and not doing anything particularly strenuous with my time. So when it does come to my bed time im hardly warn out. I looked online for some answers. Turns out, im doing it all wrong. Theres a reason i cant sleep, and its my own damn stupidity. Here are some of the best ways to get some decent kip and how i seem to have ignored them all. Ive thrown some in too for good measure.

• Have a routine

The idea is that about an hour before you go to bed you have a routine that lets you brain know that ' ooh must be time to sleep'. Things like watch newsnight (or something much cooler), put on pjs, have cup of tea, brush teeth, listen to late night radio then bamm! Your asleep. I, however, have no routine. My only routine seems to be; go to bed, stay awake. I should get me one of these

• Have a nice hot bath

Apparently just having one of those lovely boiling hot, bubble filled baths right before you go to bed gets you all cosy and ready to sleep. And its a big no to having showers. All the water falling on you head is not gonna help you sleep in the same way a piano dropping on your head wont help. Here my only flaw is not having tried it, but i will.

• No computer/tv/big amounts of food or sugar an hour before bed

Now, in my opinion this is a bit of a rubbish rule. Sort of rules midnight feasts out of the question. But i can sort of understand the no tele thing. Gorping at a screen right before you try and nod off is bound to make things difficult. All the bright lights and warbing sounds are just gonna perk your brain right up. I, however, sit and eat big piles of jaffa cakes while watching the whole series of spaced on 4OD. ooh and i wonder why i cant sleep.

• Have a calming and relaxing environment.

This means that your bedroom should be a haven of tranquility and peace. And as far as im aware a clothing carpet and a fleece for a curtain doesnt really qualify. I must tidy my room, if only for my own sanity. Though im fairly sure one of those glade jobbies would work just as well. But more seriously, have a tidy room that smells ok and is warm. It will certainly help.

• Try reading before sleeping

I know your not suppose to 'over stimulate' your mind or anything, but a spot of light reading before setting down to sleep will help. The more boring the book the better, maybe the dictionary. It gets you mind all imagining things and therefor, surely, ready for all the dreaming. But me being incapable of doing anything quite right chose to read American Pyscho. Patrick Batemen is far from the best of bedfellows. (ooh the book is sooo much better than the film)

• Get rid of all your thoughts

I dont mean this quite litereally. But the reason alot of people cant get to sleep is because they have something on their mind that they just cant stop thinking about. No matter how trivial. The best thing to do is write it down, even if you scrawl it on the wall next to your bed. That problem will still be there in the morning and you can worry about it then. Im the biggest worrier in the world. The tiniest problem will keep me awake for hours, thinking up every possible outcome for it, i make myself sick with it. but yet still i lie there and stew. not good.

• Try getting wasted/stoned

Now i know this one may seem a little much. But getting stoned give you the best nights sleep ever, even if your sleeping on some wooden floor in the ceiling of some barn (it may have happened). You may make up feeling a little...dry, but thats worth it for a decent nights sleep. Same goes for getting wasted. We all know that when we drink, it will get to a certain time of the night when you start dropping off. And no matter where you are like a taxi, a club or just your friends house (these too may have happened) theres just no stopping it. So simply make that dropping off point coinside with your bed time and your sorted.

• Not be lonely

I shall elaborate. Its my firm belief that the main reason behind me not being able to sleep is down to sheer lonliness. The last time I had a decent nights sleep was two weeks ago. The last time i saw old hughie (the boyfriend) was two weeks ago. Coincidence i think not. I have simply been awake for the past two weeks due to the simple fact that i missed him. And now as he is coming tomorrow i should hopefully be able to get some sleep! After that he can go home as he will have fulfilled my requirements.

And for those of you, who like me, have resorted to the internet because you cant sleep i have the perfect song for you. Think of it as a lullaby. But not in a sissy way.

If i suddenly became a millionaire

I have lived in my current house for the past ten years. Before that i lived in at least four other houses. But the house, and more importantly the room i have now seem to be the most im familiar with. Though now, due to my parents being unable to stand one anothers company, we moving yet again. And somehow, much to my protest, i have been given the smallest bedroom that any one ever has had the misfortune of having. I'll be lucky if i can fit in a set of shelves and pack of cards in there. My brothers and dad have managed to get rooms the size of football pitches. Barbaric i say. But...theres little i can do. Technically i am away at uni, there for not there all the time. And with this in mind i felt maybe i could something with this teeny weeny micro space and make it somewhere lovely and comfy, and just better than the fucking massive rooms. I, after lots of thinking and trawling through rubbish website, have found what i think would be the perfect bedroom. I hope you like it, and any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

The main problem with the room is the fact that my bed fills most of the room dont actually have anywhere to put anything. I want to get me some shelves like this;

As well as having storage on the walls, ive got loads of space under my bed which would be a shame to waste. I found this box thats perfect to pop under the bed to fill will the crap that would otherwise be on my floor.

I, like anyother girl, have a box somewhere thats just full of tangled old earings and chains. I want this little wonder in my room to solve the bloody problem.

As after all, i am only a woman, you cant say no to a spot of posh lighting. Im gonna get me this badboy.

Alot of people have wallpaper on the walls as a kind of feature wall. but that seems like a bit of faff. I found a pretty mint alternative, this wall sticker can go anywhere in the room and theres billions of designs.







Its always nice to have comfiness to your room, so i would give my right arm to have this kinda thing on my bed.






And of course, im gonna wanna look at my room through something, so why not this. It can either be one big one on its on, or lots of little smaller ones.





To be fair i could sit here for hours and hours going on about all the little tiny details of this dream room i appear to have conjured up in my mind. But i wont bore you. I just had all these lovely ideas for how i wanted it too look so felt like sharing them.

Also I think it is of upmost importance that you listen to this song.

and so it begins...

For months now i have been meaning to start a blog of some kinds. And seeing as today is a rainy, post-friday night comedown kind of a day, i thought what better opertunity than this. I have this feeling that i must share with the world the mundane and trivial events that happen in my life. My opinions on x-factor (limited as they are), how drunk i got the night before and got in the lamest fight ever with a tazi driver and the amusing lines my boyfriend seems to come up with.

See here...this is me.

Ok, so a few things about me. Im 20 and at uni. Im originally from Nottingham and will defend it to the ends of the earth over the reputation of it being the knife/crime/teenage pregnancy/knobhead capital of Britain. I love music and i love to spread the word of new music. I love clothes and i love wearing them. I love going out and drinking too much and dancing too much. I love stories and sharing them. Im generally an average 20 year old and dont live a particularly unusal life but i feel i have something to add to it.

So from here on in its just the two us, well me talking and you hopefully reading and maybe one day finding amusing, and to kick things off i have a treat for you in the form of The Drums. Enjoy!